|"Couple in Garden - Nuremberg-Nurnberg - Germany" by Adam Jones, Ph.D. - Own work. |
Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons -
It was in high school. We were all growing up, things were different and more difficult then. You all know the story.
For some people, romantic relationships don't occur often. For others, they spark like flashes in a pan, then fizzle out. Rarely do you find people who are truly great at forming intimate bonds with others and it seems like "they've been married for years" or are part of some ongoing jeweler commercial you can't click away from. They're sickly cute and admirable. You can't help but admit you sometimes like their channel and wish you were on the same network schedule.
It's weird when you're in a relationship, when you're in a courting phase, when you're in a hookup phase or when you're in no phase at all- just standing there, alone, watching it all happen to the people around you.
For the majority of my life, I've fallen into the latter.
I don't call it sad or frustrating, just interesting really. It's not sad to be by yourself, nor is it scary. It gives you time to analyze what you want out of you, your life and the person you hope to one day share it with.
Relationships happen when they're meant to. You can't force a connection or chemistry or call it a relationship to compensate for loss of emotion or feeling. Try as you might, it's usually the action of trying too hard that forces you into the "I don't want to try at all" mode, which you so loathe about yourself and these weird relationships.
The weirdest part and the part I have found we have the most difficult time avoiding is staying out of other peoples romantic relationships and letting them decide for themselves about whether or not it's worth working out.
The pressure of your peers, friends and family, who you realize care about you most, is sometimes the most irritating part of your love life, but you deal with it, because you love them as they love you.
|"Ryan Gosling au festival de Cannes, 2011"|
Original work by LifeLemons on Wikimedia
We're usually blinded by what we think could be or is.
Relationships are a fine line, a weird happenstance and sometimes a once-in-a-lifetime love. Sometimes, they're all three at once.
My advice about them is to always think about you before you think about the idea of you with someone else. If you aren't in a place that's good for you, odds are it will be more difficult to find a place that's better with someone.
Take care of yourself first.
Experiencing new things is something I'm all about. I say go for what you want and if it happens to be another person, great. Figure that out!
If it so happens that this other person is the person you want to be, however, which comes with the chance to figure yourself out and separate yourself from the part that's trying to be with someone outside of your undecided conscience, do that.
If you aren't with it yourself, it's going to be so much harder to be with anyone else.
No one is perfect and no relationship is as sublime as it sometimes is in the movies. Ryan Gosling is Eva Mendes' baby-daddy, need I remind you.